Addicted
by aBeautifulLiar
Summary: An addictions an addiction - and it all hurts the same.
1. Oliver Oken: A Shot

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story. **

**~ Chapter One ~ **

**~ A Shot To Kill The Pain ~ **

Oliver Oken looked down at his arm, the needle shaking in his hand as he bit down hard on his lip. He tried to tell himself a long time ago that it would only be the one time, he just needed it right now, _just one more time. _

He heaved a deep sigh, closing his eyes before piercing the needle into his skin – just like he had done so many times before. His heart beat getting faster as he felt that familiar feeling wash over his body once again.

It was as though he was breathing for the first time, seeing things right for the first time, hearing it all correctly – he was on top of the world for once. He wasn't Oliver Oken anymore, he was someone. He was someone else, some different, someone better.

He inhaled sharply, his breath trembling as he looked around the room, relaxing back on the couch. He laughed to himself, tracing the needle mark – they were all too easy to hide.

He looked down at his hands, shaking his head at the blurred version before closing them once more and leaning back.

_No guilt. No pain. No fear. No sadness. No panic. No chaos. Nothing._

Just this once; he kept telling himself; I won't do this again. But he knows as soon as he comes back down, it'll start all over again – the longing, the need, the want. It will all come back and he'll be back here, telling himself it was the last time. Just the second time.. just the tenth time, just the thirtieth time.

He's lost, he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know how to love anymore, he doesn't know who he wants to be. He wants to be Oliver Oken – Lilly loves him that way, he has friends, a family. But the years of fame have changed him too much. The parties had never been the cause, they were just a reason. It was him – there was something wrong with him.

He bites down on his lip, thinking about it, there had always been something wrong with him. The flash of anger comes quickly, his hand grabbing the closest thing to him – a glass – and he throws it across the room. He smiles at the sound of smashing glass before calming down again.

He has everything, friends, a life, a job, a beautiful girlfriend, and one moment of weakness and he's back to where he started. Back to that stupid teenage boy who thought fame was everything, back to the life he hates. He's back to Oliver Oken, the overnight superstar.

But, an addiction is an addiction – it all hurts the same.


	2. Miley Stewart: A purge

**Disclaimer: See last chapter.**

"**A purge to stop the gain." **

**Miley. **

She caught her reflection in the mirror, her eyes dull as she tried furiously wipe away the tears that had found their way down her pale face, sliding down her dry skin before meeting her lips, leaving the slight taste of salt as she bit down on her lip.

She shook her head, willing the tears to stop falling, she just wanted it all to stop. Her hands shook as she lifted them up slowly, reaching out for that person in the mirror, the person looking back at her – she wanted to help her, it didn't settle in that the girl was her.

She let her fingers gently trace over the girl looking back at her, their eyes meeting as she tried to hold in the sobs, her body slightly shaking from the effort before she turned away, her eyes meeting back to that porcelain bowl to which she had become so well acquainted with.

She sighed, biting down on her tongue as her feet took her to her destination before her mind could even consider the consequence. She looked around, a small frown on her face, this is where she _studied, _her best friends were here – and look at what she was about to do. Could she get away with it here?

But she knew she had to do it. _ChineseChineseChinese, _the thoughts ran through her head, causing her to stumble a little, banging her back against the cubicle door, taking deep breaths as she tried her best to think of something else, anything else.

_Chinese. Chinese. Chinese. _She didn't mean to eat it, she didn't want to give in, she had only wanted to fit in with all her friends. She longed for people to believe she was normal. Her hands shook too much as she quickly ran into the cubicle, slamming the door behind her before locking it.

Her eyes closed tight as she put her head on the cold wall, a deep sigh escaping her lips before she opened them again, her eyes wandering to that porcelain bowl that gave her so much pleasure and control but at the same time – hurt and deceit.

"I'm sorry." She whispered to herself, her feet taking her closer, her knees hitting the cold, hard floor before she even knew what was happening, her hand raising to her hair to brush it from her face, trying it back – _it's for the best._

With one final shake of her head, letting out a small, desperate cry before her hands found their way to her mouth, _it had to be like this. _She bit down on her fingers at first, the tears pricking her eyes again as she tried to think of not doing it, _she was punishing herself._

**Do it Miley do it. Do it Hannah, do it. **

She winced at the voice, nodding at the invisible person.

**&again&again&again&again.**

_Do it until it's all gone, Hannah. _

You're never going to be good enough for him, Miley.

_**He'll never love you, he'll never see you for who you are, Hannah. **_

And as she pulls back, finally down, falling back onto the floor as she wiped her mouth – removing all evidence of what she has done, what she can only describe as a _crime. _She realizes it's all gone – hope, faith, last night's dinner, this mornings breakfast, today's Chinese. _Everything is gone. _And she is empty, pure and clean.

**A/N: The jump from calling her Miley and Hannah is intentional – she can't distinguish between the two. So yeah. **


	3. Lilly Truscott: A cut

**Disclaimer: See last chapter**

"**A cut to break the vein." **

**~ Lilly ~ **

Lilly bit down on her lip, smiling when she felt the familiar drops of blood before looking down at her arm. Her hand shook slightly as she looked from the knife in her hand to her bleeding wrist.

She inhaled a deep breath, closing her eyes as the knife made contact with her pale and scarred skin once more. A slight moan of pain mixed with pleasure escaped her mouth as she felt the sharp blade pierce through her skin, her eyes opened when she felt blood drip onto her lap.

She shook her head, looking down at the newly acquired wound, her eyes filled with that burning passion as she longed to make even more. She knew she couldn't though, trying to push aside the thought as quickly as she could – she would never be **satisfied. **

One. More. Cut. She bites down on her lip at the thought, tasting the blood in her mouth before nodding; _just one more. _She makes it quickly, letting the knife slide to the floor as she lets her arm drop, her eyes fixated on the three fresh cuts she had just made.

Her eyes travel towards the scars, _one for each moment of pain. _And she nods, she almost laughs at the way Miley told her she doesn't seem scared of anything; and Lilly agreed, laughing it off, ignoring the voice in her head that told her she was lying.

No, you're better at _lying; _she tells herself. She runs her fingers through her hair, grabbing a bandage she had placed next to her a while before. Her hand shakes as she wraps it around her wrist – not really caring about infection – _more pain; worth it, right? _She looks around the small room she had managed to hide herself in, standing up for a second before closing her eyes, telling herself it was over, she wasn't allowed to cry.

She was good at covering up the truth, she was amazing at lying, she was talented when it came to pretending that everything was alright. She smiled at her reflection in the mirror, brushing her hair back and straightening out her clothes before pulling down her long sleeves.

She thought about the three cuts from day, each of them symbolizing something different; _one for that girl she saw Oliver with, the second for the look of disappointment in her mothers eyes that morning and the third for the pain she saw in her best friends eyes – _and then it hit her; they're hurting to.

But then she thought; everyone has different ways of coping with the pain, and this was hers.


End file.
